When
God Created Fathers
"
When the good Lord was creating fathers, He started with a tall
frame. And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of father
is that ? If you’re going to make children so close to the
ground, why have you put fathers up so high ? He won’t be
able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without
bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."
And
God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size,
who would children have to look up to ?"
And
when God made a father’s hands, they were large and sinewy.
And
the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do You know what
You’re doing ? Large hands are clumsy. They can’t manage
diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even
remove splinters caused by baseball bats."
God
smiled and said, "I know, but they’re large enough
to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the
end of a day…yet small enough to cup a child’s face."
Then
God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.
The
angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of
the week, all right," she clucked. "Do You realize
You just made a father without a lap ? How is he going to pull
a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs
?"
God
smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong
shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold
a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."
God
was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone
had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer.
"That’s not fair. Do You honestly think those large
boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the
baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing
at least three of the guests ?"
And
God smiled and said, "They’ll work. You’ll see.
They’ll support a small child who wants to "ride a
horse to Banbury Cross" or scare off mice at the summer
cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."
God
worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but
a firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain
calm and tolerant.
Finally,
almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned to
the angel and said, "Now are you satisfied that he can love
as much as a mother ?"
And
the angel shutteth up !"
-
By Erma Bombeck - |
